We’ve all been there: That dark time, the black hole, that hellhole also known as the break up. We all get a little wiser after each breakup, for sure. But that doesn’t make it any easier, does it? Unless, of course, it wasn’t anything serious and the decision to break up was mutual. Now before I proceed with some really helpful tips, let’s dip our toes into semantics for a bit because misery loves company. And sometimes, grammar can really make one miserable. Don’t at me.
Okay. Now that we’ve gotten that little gremlin out of the way, onward we march to today’s question:
What are the good ways of keeping your shit together after a breakup?
So glad you asked. I have graduated with BA Heartbreak, major in Keeping Your Shit Together with flying colors. I assure you that you are in the best hands and about to get quality tips. In fact, it’s so good we’ll jump straight to the top tips from your friendly oddball of a blogger. (Spoiler alert: Me. It’s me. I’m that blogger.)
Good old-fashioned spite, plus some tears, beers, and candles
Sometimes, spite is inevitable. And we’ll all be fine with a low level of spite within our system. I mean, I’ll be more worried and perplexed if you jumped straight to acceptance and moved on as easy as 1-2-3. Sometimes, we all need to wallow in (low level, non-destructive) spite and mix that together with alcohol. Bonus points if it’s raining and you light two or three or 2394 scented candles, because we all know how therapeutic and lovely scented candles are. I can never get enough of them. Taylor Swift really knew what she was talking about when she penned “Closure.”
Play “All Too Well” on repeat
I cannot emphasize enough how important this is for your healing process. Doesn’t matter which version. Just go ahead and listen to “All Too Well” multiple times. Some people go hard and play it all day long. If that is not utter dedication to “no pain, no gain” in the world of heartbreak and moving on, then I don’t know what is.
Take the next step: Watch the music video
Watch the music video of the 10-minute version of “All Too Well”, if only to while away time and break your heart even more. It’s oddly cathartic. 10/10 recommend. If your ex was prone to gaslighting, you might relate with this music video.
Catch flights, not feelings
Book a vacation. I know I did. Flew all the way to Taiwan armed with nothing but my desperate need to get away. I may or may not have gotten lost more than once. I will not lie about how “Hostel” has instilled in me the fear of traveling. I’m glad I went with friends and didn’t go solo. Otherwise, chances are high I wouldn’t be typing this right now. But yeah. Go on a trip. Surround yourself with new sights to see and new food and drinks to drown in.
Oh wow. I definitely missed my calling in life to be a relationship counselor. Thank you for reading my brief but meaningful list of sage advice. Until my next wonderful Q&A post, folks! Now go forth and have a good weekend!
This weekend in photo:
